If so, you’re not alone. In companies across the nation, communication breakdown is one of the main challenges managers deal with on a daily basis. As a result, they spend time restating their objectives to the same people over and over again, only to have the intended message still get altered or confused. Depending on the situation, communication breakdown can have severe consequenceseverything from lost sales and profits to high employee turnover rates.

The warning signs of communication breakdown include the listener losing interest before you’re finished speaking, your being unable to get the floor at meetings, and doing all the talking during a conversation when you want feedback. If any of these things routinely happen to you during conversations, your communication efforts are not effective or efficient.

Traditionally, most business leaders have spent their time attempting to change the way others listen. This is an exercise in futility because the only element in any interaction you can change is your part of it. Those professionals who are motivated to adjust their speaking in order to get people to listen, develop better relations with staff, investors and customers. The result will be fewer misunderstandings and more success in the business. By making the following adjustments to your conversations, you too can experience the satisfying results of positive communication.

1. Stop talking
When someone talks incessantly, the listener naturally wants to tune out. Listening is an energy draining process, so forcing people to listen for long periods of time can wear them out. To motivate others, especially if you are the boss or key figure in a negotiation, be quiet and listen to others in order to discover what they are thinking. Stop talking long enough to capture the entire essence of what the other person is saying. Listen for the value the other person wants to add and incorporate that into your response.

2. Get to the point
Effective communicators don’t beat around the bush. They make their points clearly and accurately. To do so, start with a single sentence that notes your positive intent. Next, state the overall goal. Once you make your suggestion for action, follow it up with justifications. Often, but not always, ask for feedback on the idea and allow for brainstorming. Summarize all decisions and each person’s role with dated, specific, and measurable commitments.

3. Take a presentation skills class
By brushing up on your speaking skills, you can “even the playing field” with those successful but less talented colleagues who got where they are because of their excellent oratory skills. Most accomplished speakers take a class or review a book on presentation skills every few years to become more confident, persuasive, and effective.

4. Keep your tone neutral
During every conversation, speak to others as you want them to speak to you. Avoid sarcasm and other hostile behaviors. When you routinely humiliate, berate, or poke fun at others, they won’t listen to much of what you say or go the extra mile for you. Speak loud enough so that no one must strain to hear you, and speak with authority, so you’ll be perceived as more credible. As far as what to say, always remember to praise in public and criticize in private, each time addressing the behavior itself and not the person’s personality.

5. Reduce your speaking accent
When listening to someone who has a thick accent, people routinely miss 10-30 percent of what is said. If you are completely fluent in English but still have people asking you to repeat yourself, taking a presentation skills class that focuses on accent reduction is a wise career move. It’s your job as the speaker to be a clear communicator, especially since others won’t work to understand you. Additionally, listeners can become embarrassed when they have to continually ask you to repeat yourself. Instead, very often they’ll nod and smile, and then ask each other afterward, “What are we supposed to do?” But there is no reason to lose your accent entirely, as a charming accent differentiates you from the group and is part of your persona. However, with information and videotaped training, even a couple of days of coaching can improve comprehension by 80 percent.

Being an effective communicator is the best way to get others to listen to what you say. Since few people enjoy repeating themselves multiple times or the resulting consequences of not getting important messages understood, improve your communication skills so that listening is not a burden for others. The result will be that listeners will hear and comprehend you each time you speak.

Dr. Reesa Woolf
Public Speaking Coach

Website: Http://ConfidentSpeaking.com
Blog: Http://HowToSpeakWithoutAnxiety.blogspot.com

Most managers consider themselves to be high achievers. Out of this mindset comes the need to want to move right into problem solving by directing staff to fix a problem in a specific way. This quick fix solution shouts loudly of their inexperience. More seasoned managers know the importance of effective communication and begin the feedback process by listening to their people. They encourage input into the situation in order to determine what may be interfering with getting the job done in the most effective way. Only after they have received input can they can gain a broader perspective of the situation and make appropriate recommendations for action.

Giving feedback is not about dishing out criticism; however, this often proves to be the case when managers find themselves under pressure. It is at these times that emotions get in the way of effective management and much is lost in the process.

Let’s put this on a personal level. As a manager, you want to be liked by your employees. You have always resented those who misjudge you and who find fault without knowing the full story. You vowed that when you became a manager that you would not follow this course of action because you know this type of behavior does nothing to improve your performance but rather makes you mistrust people and devalue their capabilities.

“The young carry-out boy was asked, “How long have you been working here?” He replied, “Ever since they threatened to fire me.” –Anonymous

Although numerous books have been written about the essential qualities of good leaders, in my opinion, four qualities stand out: communication, trust, competence, and caring.

Effective leaders communicate clearly and inspire others to want to take action. Good leaders are good listeners. They pause often, and acknowledge the presence of others. Most importantly, they stop talking and listen attentively. They build trust through what is said and done. Their competence is judged on how they make decisions and lead people. And, lastly they are people savvy. They are genuinely interested in others and get the job done through collaboration. Good leaders are not Lone Rangers. They do not expect others to be “just like them.” But rather, they recognize and leverage the talents of others for the benefit of the entire organization.

Remember, even though you, as a manager, may dislike giving feedback, your employees expect and need it from you. The complaints are not usually about the necessity to improve, but how the situation was inappropriately handled.

Feedback should NOT be limited to the times you do Performance Evaluations but should be an ongoing process between a manager and her or his team. The results are good grades in the four qualities of effective leadership mentioned above.

TECHNIQUES FOR EFFECTIVE FEEDBACK

Rule of 3 x 3

effective feedbackBert Decker is his book, You’ve Got To Be Believed to be Heard, talks about his 3 x 3 Rule when giving feedback. His method forces the manager to give balanced feedback by focusing on three strengths and three areas of development when analyzing performance and behavior. Capping it to three keeps the information succinct and easily remembered. Decker says, “Receiving three bits of feedback at a time allows people to make course corrections, like a guided missile, as they keep moving onward and upward. The goal is not to flatten someone’s ego but rather to give them encouragement and to challenge them to improve.

Focus on Performance, Not Personality

The most effective way to discuss areas requiring improvement is to focus on observable actions, not attitudes. By limiting your criticism to what you see with your own two eyes, it will help you refrain from judgments that can trigger a defensive reaction. An example might be, “I have heard you making a number of personal telephone calls lately, is there something going on that you need our support for?” That is better than saying, “You seem to be making a number of personal calls lately, and this has become very disruptive.”

Certain Words Create Problems

Words that are dangerous when evaluating performance are always, never, and worst. If you let slip any of these words, you are overstating your case and not focusing on actual performance. Far better to say, “I’ve seen you do this three times this week.”

New managers who are not accustomed to providing feedback will often sound accusatory when they are trying to assert their authority. If this is you, you will know you are on shaky ground if you find yourself using the word “you” followed by a negative comment. An example might be, “You didn’t meet the deadline we agreed to.” With this language, tensions will be inflamed and the result will be a resentful employee. Better to say, “We agreed to a Friday deadline. Can you tell me what problems you encountered?” This moves the employee into analyzing the situation rather than becoming defensive.

Use Questions to Give You Leverage

It is often helpful to let employees discover for themselves what could be improved. This tactic works especially well with high-ego performers who automatically resist any input they get as negative. Many new managers make the mistake of talking so much that employees feel like they are being scolded as a preschooler.

It is more beneficial to ask questions to flush out the situation. Prod the employee, in a non-threatening way, into evaluating his or her own performance in an area where you have concern. Stay totally involved in the process by allowing the employee to make recommendations for their own improvement. Learning “questioning skills” is a valuable tool and one that can be taught in the coaching process. Questioning helps you get a broader perspective on a situation and helps you avoid lapsing into the lecture mode.

Be Supportive

There is a fine line between advice and support. Advice involves telling someone how to solve a problem. Support on the other hand, makes the other person feel valued. It is well intentioned and shows a willingness to share observations and seek information to help the employee to succeed. It does not assert superiority or position. Like a friendly but curious detective, you want to investigate behavior rather than take a position that assigns right-wrong labels to a person.

Leaders are Always in Training

Just as professional athletes are in year-round training because they desire continuous improvement, so too should managers be in continuous training. Personal Executive Coaching has proven long-term benefits because executives learn to integrate the skills and apply them on the job. If you expect the best from your people then setting high expectations for yourself is both natural and positive. Set up your Free 30-minute Coaching Session by clicking the appropriate box on the right-hand panel.

Author

Barb McEwen is a well-known Master Executive Coach and Organizational Development Consultant who works with senior executives from around the world to help identify and assess developmental opportunities for both organizations and individuals.

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Copyright Barb McEwen and 20/20 Executive Coaching, Inc. Barb McEwen is a well known, thought-provoking and inspirational speaker. You can reach her at: Barb.McEwen@2020ExecutiveCoaching.com. Learn how to be a more effective manager and leader. Check out her website at http://www.2020executivecoaching.com.